For decades, restaurants filled a vital role in our communities.

The best marketing isn’t a campaign—it’s a culture.


A few years ago, my wife and I pulled off something rare for parents of three kids with full-time jobs—a quick two-day getaway. On our way back to Charlotte, North Carolina, we stopped at a small restaurant in Spartanburg, South Carolina. It wasn’t planned. No hype, no expectations. Just a roadside meal to break up the drive. And yet, it’s one of the best restaurant experiences of my life. Here’s the funny part: I don’t remember the name of the restaurant. I can’t tell you what I ate. I can barely picture the space. What I do remember is how it made me feel. It was like walking into a room full of family you hadn’t seen in years—excited, safe, completely welcome. The staff was warm and genuine, the guests seemed happy just to be there, and the energy of the room was magnetic. That experience—more than the food, décor, or service scripts—is what made it perfect. When people ask me, as a restaurant professional, to name my most memorable dining experience, I don’t hesitate. It’s Spartanburg. Because in that small, unassuming spot, I felt a sense of belonging.

The Third Place We Lost

For decades, restaurants filled a vital role in our communities. They weren’t just where we ate—they were part of our social fabric. That “Third Place” between home and work, where people came to relax, connect, and just be. It’s why shows like Cheers resonated for so long. We all crave that sense of belonging. But somewhere along the way, we lost it. Convenience, technology, and then the pandemic pulled us away from communal gathering. Google and Amazon made shopping solitary. Delivery apps replaced dining rooms with doorsteps. The pandemic, of course, was jet fuel on the fire. Operational innovation is important. Efficiency matters. But in the process, we let something irreplaceable slip away: culture.


Culture Is the Soul of a Restaurant

Culture isn’t a line in a handbook or a framed mission statement. It’s the soul of the restaurant. It’s the vibe that guests feel within seconds of walking in. It’s in the tone of a greeting, the confidence of service, the way team members interact with each other.

Food brings people to the table, but culture makes them stay—and return. Strong culture drives retention, loyalty, and profits. Weak culture sends both employees and guests out the door.

Yet, too often, leaders talk about culture without training for it. We train cooks to execute a filet. We train servers to sell wine. But culture? Too many assume it will just happen. It won’t. Culture requires clarity, definition, reinforcement, and accountability.

And here’s the truth I’ve learned in 20+ years of managing, coaching, and consulting: people don’t remember what you served them. They remember how you made them feel.

The Culture Playbook

Over the years, I’ve developed what I call The Culture Playbook—a set of principles that help restaurants reclaim their role as the Third Place. These aren’t buzzwords. They’re habits and commitments that, if practiced consistently, transform restaurants into communities.

1. Out of Relationships, Everything Flows

We are in the people business—always have been, always will be. Strong relationships require three things: love, dignity, and respect. Yes, love belongs in the workplace. Not sentimental love, but the kind that says, “I’m for you.” Dignity builds self-worth and security. Respect goes beyond acknowledging output—it honors people for who they are. Together, these create trust, loyalty, and pride.

When people feel valued, they give their best. Not because they have to, but because they want to.

2. Define Early, Broadcast Often

Culture starts with clarity. Can you articulate your mission, vision, and values? Can your team? If not, you’re leaving culture up to chance.

Define what matters. Share it constantly. Not just at orientation, but every day in pre-shift, one-on-ones, and team rituals. You’re building culture whether you mean to or not—so get intentional.

3. Maintain the Fence

Think of culture as a fence. It defines what’s in bounds and what isn’t. It creates accountability on both sides—leaders and team members alike know what behaviors are acceptable.

But fences need upkeep. Boards crack, posts shift, sometimes the whole structure needs to adapt. Businesses evolve, people change, and your culture should, too. Just don’t try to squeeze your 2025 team into a 2002 box.

4. Lead with Heart, Not Just Policy

Culture starts at the top. It’s not laminated in the break room—it’s modeled daily. Leaders who show empathy, consistency, and vulnerability create psychological safety. And safe teams deliver hospitality that feels real.

This isn’t soft stuff. It’s leadership. I’ve seen managers disappear after their favorite football team lost a big game. I’ve seen leaders cling to rules instead of relationships. That never works. The best leaders balance accountability with empathy, protecting both the brand and the people.

5. Create Connection Points

Just like families have traditions, restaurants need rituals that build team identity. Pre-shift huddles. Celebrating wins. Shared meals after a rush. These small, consistent actions turn coworkers into teammates, and teammates into family.

But remember: culture isn’t pizza parties. It’s consistency and intentionality. When you say pre-shift is at 10:45, be there at 10:45. Every day. That consistency communicates reliability—and your team will mirror it.

6. Do the Right Thing, Period

When in doubt, filter decisions through three questions:Is it good for the guest?
Is it good for the team?
Is it good for the brand?

If the answer is yes, do it. Period.

When we opened a new restaurant in Charlotte, a permitting delay forced us to pause training for three weeks after just one session. Instead of telling the team to wait, we paid every single one of them in full for those three weeks. Why? Because it was the right thing to do.

When training resumed, every single person showed up. That grand opening became one of the most successful in the market.

7. Connect Passion to Process

The strongest organizations achieve process excellence through cultural excellence. Training is where culture comes alive. If your standards are clear, your training must reinforce them. If your training is weak, your culture won’t sustain.

8. Build a Brand Around Belonging

The best marketing isn’t a campaign—it’s a culture. When guests feel seen and valued, they return, bring friends, and tell your story for you. Belonging is the most powerful loyalty program you’ll ever create.

Back to Belonging

The truth is simple: in a world full of noise and disconnection, restaurants that will rise are the ones that feel different. The ones that feel like Spartanburg—like a room full of people genuinely glad you walked through the door.

Restaurants were once the Third Place, the gathering ground between home and work. We can be that again. But it won’t happen through technology or convenience alone. It will happen when we recommit to culture—the soul of hospitality.

It’s time to bring back belonging. And it starts with us.

Jeffrey Boland Sr. has spent the last two decades in the restaurant industry, leading teams, opening concepts, scaling brands and guiding multi-unit operations. As Director of Operations he has led cultural transformations that drive growth, retention, and guest loyalty. Today, he consults and coaches operators on building culture-driven brands where both people and profits thrive. As a public speaker, Jeff pulls from his path to sobriety, experience as a father and the countless hours navigating the winding path of a hospitality career to inform, inspire and engage restaurant professionals and future leaders to achieve excellence. A believer that restaurants are at their best when they create belonging, Jeff helps leaders transform their teams into communities and their businesses into destinations. Connect with Jeff at jeffrey@bolandhs.com and follow him on LinkedIn.